Of course, ART was fucking no help at all. Fucking asshole. Which meant that Plan A was a complete bust. Time for Plan B.
Murderbot pinged Three, and sent an invitation to join a workspace titled: Avoid All Students, Especially The Ones That Squeal.
It had only just begun work, but the workspace already contained detailed map of ART, a complete schedule of all of the student's classes and known extra-curricular activities, and all of Murderbot's available camera inputs. All of these were being funnled into a code that would track every student's location, mark them on the map - and, most importantly, highly the areas where they weren't.
There were gaps, though: Murderbot didn't have enough inputs. It needed Three's, as well as its help with the coding. Murderbot figured the chances of Three helping where high, especially since it was 98% sure that Three wanted to avoid the students just as much, if not more so.
Three spent thirty-six minutes and eight seconds in the presence of five of the adolescent humans currently on board Perihelion.
That was thirty-six minutes and two seconds longer than it needed to know it is not ready for hoards of slightly smaller and significantly noisier humans than the ones it has met so far. The six second window was how long it took before the first one actually addressed it and wanted to know its name. It had perhaps hoped for those six seconds that it could manage, but no. Definitely not.
It is currently hiding in one of the medical suite's surgery rooms, trying to be very quiet and hoping none of the adolescent humans get hurt and require medical attention and find it there.
The ping from Murderbot is actually unsurprising. Murderbot is probably even less happy with the surge of bodies than it is. It pings back and opens the workspace, finding itself even less surprised by what it finds there. It offers its own current hiding place as one of the "places they aren't" with the caveat "for now".
Murderbot, meanwhile, had been caught out in the middle of the hallways, with no easy access to someplace out of the way like the medical suite. It had been forced to hide in a cupboard in one of the corridors.
It considers Three's addition; for now. Three was right, they didn't just need to know where the students were at the moment, they needed to know the statistical likelihood of where they were going to be.
So Murderbot starts working on a new piece of code: one that would analyse all of the recordings it had of previous student movement, in order to create a predictive model. The model needed more data, though, so it sends Three a request to add in all of its recordings.
Unfortunate, then, that Three has almost no recordings yet of students. Just the thirty-six minutes from today. It sends the short splice from its visual feed with a kind of apologetic air and the explanation, I have never been stationed anywhere with students before.
Ugh. Well, thirty-six minutes is still thirty-six minutes more than they had before.
The code attempts to make its calculations, but it's clear that at this point the results are nowhere near accurate. Murderbot resigns itself to having to stay in the fucking cupboard for hours, if not cycles, while they collect more data.
Neither have I. Murderbot had spend most of it's time in mining stations and the like. There wasn't really much education happening in those. Which meant that in this case, it didn't have a lot of advice it could give.
You could slip out during an off-time and come hide in a slightly more comfortable spot with Three, Murderbot.
Did Perihelion offer any advice?
Perihelion hasn't offered that advice to Three yet, but Three also hasn't asked, so... maybe Murderbot knows more? It's actually friends with the AI, after all. Three is not. (Three thinks it pissed Perihelion off by interacting with the other ship's AI.)
Still, it does have the thought: It has students on board regularly. It should have records of their movements.
Murderbot makes the equivalent of a snort in the feet; apparently Murderbot hadn't thought much of ART's advice, whatever it was.
ART's an asshole and its advice is useless, is all it says, as it as a Student Arrival Assessment check to Three's safe zone. Now there's a marker featuring the percentage chance of a student arriving there soon (although since the number keeps wildly fluctuating, the data isn't there yet to make an accurate prediction). It thinks we should be "nice" to them.
It did sound like something a human would say. Probably it was something ART's humans had said to it once, and which had irrationally decided to apply to young humans and young humans only.
Then Murderbot pauses for .23 seconds. What did being nice involve?
Probably involves a lot of smiling. And hugs. (There is a shudder in the feed, as Murderbot contemplates the horror that is hugging.) ART can be nice all it fucking wants, I'm not doing it.
The very idea makes Three's performance reliability drop by three whole percent.
I am not doing either of those things.
Though it does bring up the question of how, if being nice involves smiling and hugging, Perihelion manages to be nice.
Perhelion cannot do either of those things.
Maybe it doesn't know how to be nice, either, and it's all just a gray uncertain area to all the bots and constructs around here. Maybe that's why Murderbot and Perihelion argue so much, neither of them know what they're doing.
(Three might be onto something there, because Murderbot doesn't really know what it's doing. Not when it comes to interacting with humans. It just knows marginally more than Three does.)
...It could use a drone for hugs, maybe? It says, after a pause. But it better not be using one for smiling. I don't want to see teeth on those things.
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Three: Students are terrible, part 2
Murderbot pinged Three, and sent an invitation to join a workspace titled: Avoid All Students, Especially The Ones That Squeal.
It had only just begun work, but the workspace already contained detailed map of ART, a complete schedule of all of the student's classes and known extra-curricular activities, and all of Murderbot's available camera inputs. All of these were being funnled into a code that would track every student's location, mark them on the map - and, most importantly, highly the areas where they weren't.
There were gaps, though: Murderbot didn't have enough inputs. It needed Three's, as well as its help with the coding. Murderbot figured the chances of Three helping where high, especially since it was 98% sure that Three wanted to avoid the students just as much, if not more so.
Re: Three: Students are terrible, part 2
That was thirty-six minutes and two seconds longer than it needed to know it is not ready for hoards of slightly smaller and significantly noisier humans than the ones it has met so far. The six second window was how long it took before the first one actually addressed it and wanted to know its name. It had perhaps hoped for those six seconds that it could manage, but no. Definitely not.
It is currently hiding in one of the medical suite's surgery rooms, trying to be very quiet and hoping none of the adolescent humans get hurt and require medical attention and find it there.
The ping from Murderbot is actually unsurprising. Murderbot is probably even less happy with the surge of bodies than it is. It pings back and opens the workspace, finding itself even less surprised by what it finds there. It offers its own current hiding place as one of the "places they aren't" with the caveat "for now".
no subject
It considers Three's addition; for now. Three was right, they didn't just need to know where the students were at the moment, they needed to know the statistical likelihood of where they were going to be.
So Murderbot starts working on a new piece of code: one that would analyse all of the recordings it had of previous student movement, in order to create a predictive model. The model needed more data, though, so it sends Three a request to add in all of its recordings.
no subject
no subject
The code attempts to make its calculations, but it's clear that at this point the results are nowhere near accurate. Murderbot resigns itself to having to stay in the fucking cupboard for hours, if not cycles, while they collect more data.
Neither have I. Murderbot had spend most of it's time in mining stations and the like. There wasn't really much education happening in those. Which meant that in this case, it didn't have a lot of advice it could give.
Sorry Three.
no subject
Did Perihelion offer any advice?
Perihelion hasn't offered that advice to Three yet, but Three also hasn't asked, so... maybe Murderbot knows more? It's actually friends with the AI, after all. Three is not. (Three thinks it pissed Perihelion off by interacting with the other ship's AI.)
Still, it does have the thought: It has students on board regularly. It should have records of their movements.
no subject
ART's an asshole and its advice is useless, is all it says, as it as a Student Arrival Assessment check to Three's safe zone. Now there's a marker featuring the percentage chance of a student arriving there soon (although since the number keeps wildly fluctuating, the data isn't there yet to make an accurate prediction). It thinks we should be "nice" to them.
no subject
I don't know how to be nice. I can be polite.
Though if Murderbot has reviewed the footage, it can see that the being polite is mostly a veneer over internal panic.
no subject
Then Murderbot pauses for .23 seconds. What did being nice involve?
Probably involves a lot of smiling. And hugs. (There is a shudder in the feed, as Murderbot contemplates the horror that is hugging.) ART can be nice all it fucking wants, I'm not doing it.
no subject
I am not doing either of those things.
Though it does bring up the question of how, if being nice involves smiling and hugging, Perihelion manages to be nice.
Perhelion cannot do either of those things.
Maybe it doesn't know how to be nice, either, and it's all just a gray uncertain area to all the bots and constructs around here. Maybe that's why Murderbot and Perihelion argue so much, neither of them know what they're doing.
no subject
...It could use a drone for hugs, maybe? It says, after a pause. But it better not be using one for smiling. I don't want to see teeth on those things.